It's time to do the laundry!

I am not a man-hater and I am always optimistic about the potential of love, but lately it feels like romance is dying and men are baffling me with their inability to see past their own nose…or is it their penis?

I was flipping through the TV channels and came across “The Notebook” – I tried not to watch it, because every time I do I turn into the sappiest of females…two hours later I was a wreck. A few days after watching the movie I read a sex survey that stated women are more apt to have sex after watching “The Notebook”…are you kidding me? “The Notebook” makes me wonder why romance is dead and where are all the “Noah’s”…so, trust me I’d be more apt to stab a man than screw him after watching this movie.
* By the way, if you are wondering what movie men are more apt to have sex after watching is…it’s “Star Wars” - this explains so much!

Maybe that was a random piece of info, but it makes sense to me ;)

Now, to my real life…

My iTunes have been stuck primarily on Adele for weeks now with the occasional break to listen to angry rocker girls and vengeful country chicks, and even the random 80’s power ballad.

I have…poured my heart out and pled my case, cried and argued, developed insomnia and an eye twitch, watched my laundry and dishes pile, become jealous and aloof, tried to be an ice princess and play make-believe, and the worst…let my toenail polish chip and the roots of my hair show.

I have been a heartbroken mess.

A few days ago he said something so ridiculous and so sad about what he chooses for his life that everything started to shift in me, and then yesterday I realized how exhausted I am from being on this teeter-totter of emotions that neither one of us wants to get off of for fear of losing the only person in the world who makes it fun and challenging to play.

I am getting off the teeter-totter and I am going to go swing all alone…I was always really good at getting my swing up high all by myself!

All the love in the world cannot save him from choosing to wallow somewhere dark and imaginary that smells like bakin and is full of plastic drones (bakin is fake and bitter…I would never want to offend the always delicious real bacon).

I have always been happy single…even while heartbroken, but what made me a mess was how much I believe in “us” – when we are good and we are both making an effort…we are perfection.

I would be lying if I didn’t say that a part of me is still hoping for my movie moment…wanting my one true love to realize he cannot live without me…I may never get “Noah”, but I would be just as happy with my very own “Lloyd Dobler”

Like I said I am not a man-hater and I am always optimistic about the potential of love, but I also know better than to hold my breath waiting for someone else to make me happy.

I never asked him to change...I am a woman who loves attributes and flaws, and I find perfection to be a real bore. All I ever wanted was trust, commitment, and honesty...maybe I just wasn't worth the effort, I accept this, but it still hurts to know this could very well be the reason.

One day a smart, funny, and HAPPY man is going to be very lucky he gets me, and if that man doesn’t exist or never finds me then all the cats I adopt will reap the benefits of my amazingness!

One thing did give me hope about romance…

As I was rounding the curve of the street I live on; I noticed a garage door adorned with pink post-it notes arranged as “I ♥ U”, I slowed down to get a better look and noticed that each post-it had words of love and devotion written in the chicken scratch only a male could pen, and the post-it’s were on the garage door directly in front of the cobalt blue mustang parked in the driveway so they would not be missed by their recipient.

…showing a woman you love her doesn’t take anything more than a little effort and little ingenuity.