Do you think anyone ever tells the stories of their life without revising, editing, or fabricating facts and details?
I don’t…I think we all skew and blur to either make ourselves the victim or the hero, depending which serves us best at the time.
I believe generally it is a “no harm, no foul” situation, because more than likely, you are not personally invested into the storyteller’s life.
Now, if you have a starring role in the story, especially if it has anything to do with a personal or intimate relationship, you want to hear it being told exactly as it was lived…otherwise, there is going to be a whole lot of “Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!” being shouted about.
I am not an irrational person, I do not see myself as a victim, I prefer laughter over almost everything else, I would rather hear and tell the brutal truth than have anything to do with a beautiful lie, and everything I do for another human being is from my heart and I never expect anyone to “owe” me…I am sensitive and emotional, I cry when I am hurting or angry, I don’t cry when I am sad or numb, I get tired of jokes and sarcasm when you are trying to work things out, and to me, the omitting of details and facts is as shitty as a lie.
That being said…
When it comes to the telling of my relationship stories; I remember everything and I am honest, even if it doesn’t paint me in the best light. I am not an angel, I have flaws aplenty, and I am quite sure I reap what I have sown.
I don’t mind being the princess, basket case, sweetheart, rebel, dork, or asshole in the stories of my life, just as long as when they are told, they are told exactly as they happened.
As I move through my break-up, while still spending time with him and truly trying to be just friends again, it is his revisionist history of the way things went down that drives me insane, because even though I ended our relationship…I was never the reason it had to end.
I know I was patient and forgiving (far more than I have ever been with any other person in my life), I was helpful and understanding (even when I knew I didn’t have to be), and even now, I continue to love and care about him without any expectations.
Well, I guess I do have expectations…I want the story of us told accurately and I want complete brutal honesty.
Tell your life stories truthfully to the ones you love and respect…starting with yourself!
1 comment:
Well I don't know how 'honest' any person can be when it comes to break ups. With my ex-Wife, she still holds grudges against me even though she had to admit in front of a judge that her violence preceded my infidelity. That bolstered my argument that she contributed to part of our fail.
I don't think anyone can really be objective about their roles in old relationships... they have to protect their ego so they can go on and participate in their lives that they have yet to live.
Sometimes you have simply let go of that person and let them have their version and to go on and live the truth as you know it. What they think hardly matters anymore.
It is going to take some time, April. This is all part of the process and in time what anyone believes happened won't matter to you or anyone in your life... you will have moved on and the important thing is to remain past it...
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